Broken.

At the responsible age of 16, shortly after obtaining my license to drive, I flipped my 1979 Datsun pick-up truck while attempting to off-road in a two-wheel-drive pickup. It had been a fast run down the dirt road, sliding off into some deep ruts, a few bounces and then we were on our side, upside down and then on our side again. The only damage was to the poor old pickup and the two passengers nerves.

After assessing the damage. We flipped it upright and I drove it home (my friend opted to walk). As my mind caught up with my heart, two words formed deep inside me…I’m dead. Like flashes of light, every scenario of explaining to my dad, apologizing, covering up, blaming someone else…my head and heart began to ache.

Once in the driveway, with compulsion I began to wash off the dirt and calculate ways to conceal the broken windows and body damage. As I turned around, my Dad pulled into the driveway. Again, a deep ache. Scrambling for answers I outlined my plan for a cardboard window and other fixes, working to minimize any further damage. My dad simply stood there. Then he said something I’ll never forget. “Are you OK?” Then he hugged his gangly teenager, an embrace that told me I didn’t need to take care of this on my own. I was aching and broken on the inside. My dad stepped in and loved me through it.

Eugene Peterson in the Message paraphrases David’s words in Psalm 51 like this: “I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered. Heart-shattered lives ready for love don’t for a moment escape God’s notice.”

Broken, shattered, love-ready…it sounds so…so needy.

Exactly. When did we forget to need God? What happened in your life when you told God “I can handle this on my own.” Take a moment and reflect on your life. If you dare, ask God for a broken and repentant heart. If you’re in the midst of being broken, God wants to hold you, comfort you and love you back to a wholeness that only comes from Him through the Holy Spirit.

Absorb this truth over time. Write the word LESS on your bathroom mirror so every time you look at yourself you are reminded that God is waiting to take your heart-shattered life and love it into a beautiful creation.

What God wants more, is less of us.

“The sacrifice you want is a broken spirit. A broken and repentant heart, O God, you will not despise.” Psalm 51:17 NLT

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2 thoughts on “Broken.

  1. Well, my mom called me shortly after this posted (thanks for reading my stuff and supporting me mom!). She share a bit of the other side of the story, which I’d never heard.

    Evidentially, she was with my dad as they pulled up and clearly told my dad to make sure and ask if I was OK before saying anything about the truck! The two of them talked quickly, making sure they didn’t come across as putting the value of the truck above me.

    You could say that takes away the power of the story…or…you could say that reinforces the beautiful picture of a triune God that exists in relationship!

    Thanks mom!

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