Mall Esteem.

The mall.
Or The Shops.
Have you been there?
Soon you’ll go…
Black Friday is ‘black’ for a reason.

Something troubling happens in me,
As I follow the traces of my common man,
Round and round the track we go,
Surrounded by an allure of more.

Emotions rush over me,
My feelings called into question,
Why am I here?
Why don’t I come more often?
What does this experience do to my soul?

Not good enough, not expensive enough.
What I’m wearing isn’t ‘now’ enough.
Didn’t I buy these jeans last year?
A hat? I never thought of adding that to my ensemble.
What’s next…now a belt, shoes, a scarf…

New styles, more comfort.
The future of color palettes
Create my Feng Shui.
I need a higher thread count in my sheets.

My Walk?
Do I strut? Limp? Tighten my cheeks?
Laboring forward,
Each step gets heavier
As I try to loosen up and
Stop thinking
About putting one foot in front
Of the other.

Do I smell good?
Does my house smell good?
What about my skin?
Is it glowing?
Are the bags under my eyes showing?

I’m exhausted.
Emotionally paralyzed,
I wonder if I can handle another hit of
Mall esteem.

One thought on “Mall Esteem.

  1. “surrounded by an allure of more.”
    and feeling so empty, so not enough, can’t do enough, be enough.
    There was a time I could not go to South Coast Plaza without binging on See’s chocolate candy. I do not do Black Friday.

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