i am

I’ve been learning so much about writing as I continue to put words together on paper in different settings. A couple of months ago while in Brazil I was working on my first book. Now that it is written and published and I’ve already found the first error the following words from my journal are appropriate. Maybe you can relate.

I take a short break from writing and working on the book – I recognize that I’m here working on the book, writing, creating…it sounds so glamorous, it seems so noble, it looks so productive. My wife is in the other room scrubbing the floors. So dirty and normal and “have to” and uncreative.

If I were honest, I would trade places in a moment.

Clean floors don’t have an audience, toilets don’t read. Walls reverberate with sound but do not have ears to hear. My greatest enemy, the obstacle to finding and hearing my own voice is myself. My own self-imposed pressure to create, succeed, make something powerful, unique and valuable. 

I believe my book will show my worth. My book is me. I am my words and thoughts…spoken and on paper or screen. What else am I?

So what then? What if my voice ceased to work, if my fingers were taken from me…what if my mind faltered and cohesive thought was stolen from me? What would take up residence in me?

I didn’t answer these questions in my journal. But I have begun to answer them in my heart. I am not my book. I am not the sum of anything I do, but rather I am the sum total of God’s grace and love. This gives me great freedom!

Where do you find your identity?


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